Encouraged to Encourage

Dark. Stressful. Disquieting. Some words I could use to describe this past week.

Inspired. Joyful. Loved. Other words I could use, words that speak God's truth, that hold a higher power, that the darkness cannot conquer.

One reason for this difference? For this past week all the interns were inspired to serve, bless and encourage one another which we did via a "secret santa" sort of idea but more of a "Secret Server" strategy where we each got someone's name picked at random and a few things they would like prayer for. We could then spend the week praying for them and then finding imaginative and creative ways to be extra encouraging and serving to the other person.

I was completely blown away by the lengths some Servers went to in order to ensure their person felt extra cherished, loved, blessed and served.

From simple ideas of making them tea and just generally spending time with them to bunches of flowers sent to their desks, chocolate, home-baked brownies & muffins, little gifts chosen specially for that person, bible verses, cards, encouraging emails, and words of hope, inspiration and love spoken to them. What a difference these simple acts of love and care brought. Out of darkness came light and joy and beauty.

Encouraged to encourage: To stimulate spiritually. To give confidence, motivation and hope. To inspire with courage.

"There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach." (J.R.R. Tolkein, Lord of the Rings III)

Wednesday: newly defined

Wednesday: A seemingly inconspicuous and unassuming day occurring in the middle of the week, specifically the fourth day out of the seven or the third working day, following Tuesday and previous to Thursday.

As an intern on the Reach programme at CAP, Wednesday has an additional definition: Reach Day!

As part of our voluntary year at CAP we work 4 days a week in our departments doing normal, every day jobs and the 5th day (Wednesday) we spend in training, lectures, discussion groups and working on projects. Marketed as a "Leadership and Management Programme" the day consists of us learning things to do with strategic planning, how to lead effective meetings, negotiation skills, managing change, time management, mainting momentum, building culture, going from good to great and many more things!

With input from Matt, John and many more leaders and managers at CAP, the day is always different, always thought provoking and means there is no such thing as a typical week at CAP!

I turn my face to the sun and the shadows fall behind.

Norfolk's sky opens in tin-metal blue over a calm, unhurried roll of flat, black fields. Small clusters of low-roofed houses amble by, the velveteen landscape flung out around them, soaked in a soft diamond rain. Silos gleam dully in the milky sunshine and lorries lounge around the delivery yards of large sugar factories as the winter ploughing grooves dark furrows in the sugar beet fields.

The train stops in the agricultural Downham Market, an ancient saxon town rising from the flat fenlands beside the River Ouse. With a small suitcase full of books tripping happily behind me and wielding a display banner slung over one shoulder I am here to face my fear of public speaking, and do a church talk. Christians Against Poverty offer churches the opportunity for a speaker to come from CAP as a way to help them promote the CAP Money courses they might be running and to hear more about the debt counselling work we do.

So I arrive at the church after trundling my way down a main road with no pavement, a curious shire horse keeping me company for one long stretch of his field. The church is small but committed and meet in a tall, thin warehouse on an agricultural industrial estate. The metal building stands like a large barn, with a tiny door for everyday use nestled apologetically in the right hand corner of its large façade.

I'm a little early so the church is quiet before Bert shuffles in, an old Norfolk farmer who greets me with a scopic smile behind owlish glasses. We become acquainted and I am immediately drafted in to go help change a light bulb, a feat made alarming by Bert's octogenarian acrobatics on a horizontally challenged chair (that means it wobbled. A lot). Afterwards there is a cup of tea with Sue in the kitchen and a time of prayer before the service begins.

Fighting with my heart for breath and against a stomach which seems to be oscillating with the power of a million butterflies, I get up with blood hammering in my veins and lungs throbbing for oxygen to speak for 40 mins about God's call for us to be faithful with our money, and his heart for the poor. Despite a few technical hitches (a DVD didn't work) and emotional ones (when speaking about the effects of debt and God's call for us to be a people who respond to the needs of the last, the least and the lost - read Matthew 25 vs 31-46, I got a bit choked up and had to take a few deep breaths!) it all went smoothly, the church's love for their community very obvious.

After lunch in an old Norfolk farmhouse with the Money Coaches and church elder's family I am back on the train, rolling through the flat landscape as the sunset breaks like yellow egg yolk on the even horizon and I breathe a sigh of relief - having faced a fear it's grip on me is lessened. As the seeping rays of the sun ooze into twilight, I turn my face to the sun and the long shadows fall behind me.

Why I Love Mondays

You would think that after a beautiful, relaxing, fun, warmer (Guernsey definitely thawed me out after being in the frozen North for so long!), peaceful and family & friend filled Christmas holiday back home that the idea of waking up again at 6.45am to go to work on a Monday morning would cause severe emotional scaring.

Not so! Although I had an amazing time away I do feel so privileged to be in a job where the first day back from holiday causes feelings of excitement and joy! I was looking forward to seeing everyone (I missed them) and getting stuck back into work.

I didn't think the day could get much better, however when I got to my desk I found a specially constructed breakfast of muffins, orange juice and croissants with some cards and a little note saying that today was "Partnership Reach Appreciation Day!" (Partnership is the department I work in and "Reach" is the internship programme I am on.) Apparently, the week that all the interns had not been in the office they had really missed us and they wanted to tell us how much they appreciated and valued having us back! I nearly cried.

I actually did cry a little bit later on, but this time with laughter! In our Department meeting that afternoon, Edd had written us all a song in the style of Tina Turner "Simply the Best" and they all sang/performed it for us. Definitely some well hidden talent there. (Really, REALLY well hidden ;) They then gave us a picture frame with lovely, encouraging notes from everyone in Partnership. Who knew that being an intern would be like this?!

Always Winter but Never Christmas?

Hearts sink as the snow falls in choking, fluffy flurries from thick conglomerations of clouds and we shiver bound by the icy snow in a Narnia-like winter. The cold lifted for a momentary week which gave us the faintest of warm hopes but then the frost and snow returned so that the winter seems endless in its sparkling eternity, the cold gripping the heart and searing the lungs.

Despite this, there is a festive, cheerful warmth in the lead up to Christmas. At home myself and Rosie (another intern) created our own Christmas tree! We trudged up to the park near my house and gathered (along with some odd looks!) ivy, holly and branches, then became very liberal with some white and gold spray paint. We made some pomanders (oranges covered in cloves, smell delicious!) and hung them on like baubles which along with some gold ribbon, stars and fairy lights created the illusion of a tree. The lounge now looks and smells very festive.

At the office, work continues as normal although there's a tree, fairy lights, snowflakes and some eye-achingly bright tinsel to bring that Christmas flavour on rather chilly mornings. Last Tuesday I drove myself and my boss Sarah down to Birmingham in a rather epic 7am till 8pm journey, touring the area on a venue hunting mission for a fundraising dinner we are holding in the area next March. Exhausting but rather fun, something we will be doing lots of as we have 10 dinners to organise next year!

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters now how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~ William Ernest Henley

A week of sunrises

sunrise 1: grey bitter sharp oyster-coloured etched cold

sunrise 2: white diamond-like glittering blinding glaring searing pale fresh frosted

sunrise 3: dark cream heavy nubulosity buttermilk sky

sunrise 4: thick viscous black rain pelting melting slick wet soaking

sunrise 5: misty dimmed smothering blanket damp clammy mucous cough

sunrise 6: searing blue blaze metallic taste musical chime tingle

sunrise 7: suffused gold pink warm rays touching cold molten metal reflecting brilliant caramel