The End.

No matter how painful the parting, times of farewell cascade through life as naturally as the seasons - summer dipping into autumn and the bitter winds of winter scattering the joyful spring memories.

Our conversation is filled with the golden weight of remembrance as a year of beauty unfolds behind us. A thick tapestry of experiences, of learning and growing, in faith and love and joy. With threads of heartache and happiness weaving scarlet and golden amongst the fresh emerald green of precious friends, a deep azure blue breaks my heart with goodbyes.

I have so much to look forward to - moving to New Zealand to do another voluntary year with CAP, new friends, amazing experiences, fantastic places to see yet there is also so much here I have to give up, so much to let go, so many dear friends to leave.

Yet this is where it ends...with fragrant halcyon flowers bending their heavy heads beneath the wash of bleak farewells as the final week turns into the final day, the final hour, the final goodby.

And I realise...

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Summer

The morning is clement, warm cerulean skies shine softly and the satin fragrance of summer flowers is swirled on the silken tendrils of a July breeze.

As I walk to work the horizon clogs with pillow-like clouds, building turrets and fortifications of nebulosity in creamy grey billows, a sure promise of summer storms.

On a busy main road a subtle pink dog rose nods it's friendly head and I drink in its sweet, clear perfume like nectar.
The pure, green smell of freshly cut grass sounds like the lazy drone of the bumblebee as it hovers over a particularly delectable daisy and butterflies billow round the purple spears of Buddleia trees.

Summer creeps in on days of mellifluous beauty and the dulcet strains of June and July slumber by on honeyed weekends.
It is a shock as we realise we only have three more precious weeks left here at CAP and in Bradford.

"But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possesion of the fair though owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.
(Sonnet XVIII, Shakespeare)

Climbing mountains

"We who have the habit of climbing mountains know just how far superior to brute force is the will to persevere and attain a specific goal...

This past week, the Reach Interns have all been in Wales for a spiritual retreat which involved staying in a stunning manor house, eating together with much love and laughter, breathlessly playing competitive ultimate frisbee, furrowing our brows in intense discussions, listening quietly to a few talks and having deep although sometimes loquacious late night chats and generally spending precious time with one another.

...We know that every height that is attained, every step that is taken is the product of patient and difficult effort and that desire is no substitute for them...

We also climbed Mt Snowdon which was an experience in itself! Huddling together for warmth, we began our walk on a cold, blustery morning, the wind whirling wet mist around our startled faces and snatching the breath from our lungs as we trudge up the well worn path. The craggy mountainside falls in folds of green around us as we ascend, the low cloud hanging thick and viscous above our heads. Occasionally we see sheep damp with fog, their nimble feet gripping the side of the mountain as they graze nonchalantly beneath the sheer ridge.

...A great many difficulties will arise, a great many obstacles will have to be overcome and avoided...

The grassy swathes are clotted with craggy boulders dribbling from jagged scars of rock which become even more profuse the higher we go. After a while a few of us turn off to climb Crib Goch, most of us foolishly unaware of what we had just let ourselves in for! What followed was 4 and 1/2 hours of nerve-racking climbing, scrambling and crawling beside precipitous drops as we edge our way along a craggy knife-edge, the dizzying heights obscured by the churning mist only to be revealed in disquieting gusts of wind which clear the clouds long enough for us to glimpse bleak rocks hundreds of feet below us.


The cold breath of the mountain wind knifes through us, a rock dislodging from my hand and tumbling into the depths of grey fog when we realise we are slightly lost. A long climb back up the mountain flank is made precarious by ferrous-rich scree which slides deceitfully beneath our feet and hands.
Eventually we reach the top and flat ground where I've never been so happy to be able to walk on two feet before!

Although not in the habit of climbing mountains, I did learn that with the will to persevere through difficulties, the determination to overcome obstacles and with every new height attained and every step taken I was forming and refining my character so that...

"...(but) for us the will to do something is the ability to do it." (Edward Whymper)



(Photos courtesy of James Ross)

Northern Ireland

Submerged in a whirlpool of activity it has been difficult to find the space to write but since last time we have had two fundraising dinners - one in Birmingham and one in Belfast!

Absolutely loved Northern Ireland - it's the first time I've been and the emerald isle certainly showed us it's best with beautiful weather all weekend. We were staying close to Belfast Castle and so a couple of early mornings I was able to go for a run in the beautiful grounds/country park surrounding it. Hot and humid, the country side reminded me almost of Kenya with it's thick scrub and thrumming crickets, the soft green leaves of hill-side bushes fragrant in the morning heat as they scrambled amongst tumbling boulders. We climbed a short while up the craggy hill behind the Castle and although no where near the top were rewarded with panoramic views of Belfast docks, the tall yellow cranes looming like herons out of the white-blue haze.

We also had a supporter conference on the Saturday which was extremely tiring but our energy levels were kept high by the amazing traybakes (apparently a NI speciality!) that had been ordered for the 300+ delegates. Row upon row of brightly coloured, chocolatey and delicious looking cakes and bakes were uncovered to gasps of admiration from all. Never have I seen so much excitement over cakes before!

Hope Springs Eternal

For many of CAP's clients the idea of a holiday or a break away from often still stressful and burdensome circumstances is a dream made hopeless by their financial situation. It is therefore one of CAPs privileges to take away some of our clients who for one reason or another have not been able to afford a holiday or even a short break away from home.

We call these holidays "Discovery Breaks" where the true message of hope - the gospel, is shared making it easy for them to discover Jesus. It is also a fantastic time for clients to rest, relax, laugh and have fun as well as meet others in similar circumstances leading to shared stories and faithful friendships.

I had the privilege of volunteering to work on one of these Discovery Breaks down in Basingstoke where we had about 50 clients for a weekend of pampering, love and care. With many clients getting in to debt due to either their own ill health, a partner's sickness or having to care for a dependant relative, the opportunities for a restful and energising break are limited therefore it was such a joy to see so many blessed by God's peace that weekend.

On the Saturday we set up our own little pampering studio which involved foot baths, manicure stations, massages and facials. Having the amazing opportunity to serve these beautiful people by literally washing their feet was so humbling as well as seeing people set free, released from past pain and given life-changing confidence where there was none.

In the afternoon some of us went for a walk where the first signs of Spring began to gleam even amongst a few stormy showers.

We saw thick clusters of crocuses resplendent in royal amethystine, waxen white and gilded gold carpeting the fresh green grass in rich, luscious swathes beneath the thin branches of newly budding trees.

The glossy flowers glowed in the creamy spring sunshine as milky clouds splashed themselves across a chalybeous blue sky and hope stired in the cold earth.

When the rain broke, sunshine dripped in warm, yellow dapples across the dewy ground and peace nodded within the ivory heads of smooth white snowdrops.

The first signs of new growth, new hope and new beginnings glowed in the faces of our clients as we laughed, found joy and for many of them, saw hope spring eternally.

Encouraged to Encourage

Dark. Stressful. Disquieting. Some words I could use to describe this past week.

Inspired. Joyful. Loved. Other words I could use, words that speak God's truth, that hold a higher power, that the darkness cannot conquer.

One reason for this difference? For this past week all the interns were inspired to serve, bless and encourage one another which we did via a "secret santa" sort of idea but more of a "Secret Server" strategy where we each got someone's name picked at random and a few things they would like prayer for. We could then spend the week praying for them and then finding imaginative and creative ways to be extra encouraging and serving to the other person.

I was completely blown away by the lengths some Servers went to in order to ensure their person felt extra cherished, loved, blessed and served.

From simple ideas of making them tea and just generally spending time with them to bunches of flowers sent to their desks, chocolate, home-baked brownies & muffins, little gifts chosen specially for that person, bible verses, cards, encouraging emails, and words of hope, inspiration and love spoken to them. What a difference these simple acts of love and care brought. Out of darkness came light and joy and beauty.

Encouraged to encourage: To stimulate spiritually. To give confidence, motivation and hope. To inspire with courage.

"There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach." (J.R.R. Tolkein, Lord of the Rings III)

Wednesday: newly defined

Wednesday: A seemingly inconspicuous and unassuming day occurring in the middle of the week, specifically the fourth day out of the seven or the third working day, following Tuesday and previous to Thursday.

As an intern on the Reach programme at CAP, Wednesday has an additional definition: Reach Day!

As part of our voluntary year at CAP we work 4 days a week in our departments doing normal, every day jobs and the 5th day (Wednesday) we spend in training, lectures, discussion groups and working on projects. Marketed as a "Leadership and Management Programme" the day consists of us learning things to do with strategic planning, how to lead effective meetings, negotiation skills, managing change, time management, mainting momentum, building culture, going from good to great and many more things!

With input from Matt, John and many more leaders and managers at CAP, the day is always different, always thought provoking and means there is no such thing as a typical week at CAP!